Monday, November 22, 2010

hello, goodbye

I take everything to heart. It honestly tears me apart when someone shuts me out of their life. And it's even worse when it's someone very important to me. AND it makes it even worse that at one time, I felt that I was very important to them.

I'm trying to think of all those sweet little quotes that people broadcast on their statuses, the ones they used to paste onto their myspaces back in the day, in big bold letters stating that if someone lets you go they were never yours to begin with and a true friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out...

It always made perfect sense.
Until it became too real, too quickly.

I don't see what's so hard about replying to a text message.
Being one of the 200 people to say happy birthday. It takes 5 seconds.
Ask how I'm doing. Or just say hey. You could stop after just that.
You could even get someone else to ask for you. I don't care.
Just acknowledge my existence in a somewhat positive way.

I feel like such a pathetic loser.
I only have two venting methods, and that's blogging and Hannah. But Hannah's busy, so that means that this is the only way to let it out.
Silly, I know.
Since blogging is totally public and everyone in the universe could read this.
But maybe that's also part of the reason that I do...

I hope Hannah becomes unbusy soon before I say something I shouldn't.
I just hope one day I can learn to trust the people I should, and lean only on them and not on those that will continually let me down.
I seem to have a problem with that.

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