Monday, October 18, 2010

dear teenage girl

Dear teenage girl,

I am just like you. We are one and the same. 
You have days when you feel anything but attractive. You compare yourself to "that girl." The one whom you don't know and do not desire to know, because you are jealous of her. She wears designer clothes and has a stride which only reminds you of your inferiority. Every word seems to come too easily to her, as if her life were scripted and she never had to make the tough decisions or say the silly and embarrassing things that you do. So you watch her every day, judging her character unfairly and condescendingly. You don't make any efforts to befriend her, because if you do befriend that girl and realize she is a kind-hearted person, one who would be only kind and honest and sweet at every point of her life, you will dislike her even more because that's just one more aspect of her life which is too perfect to be real. So you decide that you don't want to find out and assume she isn't a good person, so that you'll feel better about yourself.
Believe me. She feels the exact same way about you.
And I mean no snobbyness when I say that I believe I've been on both sides of the equation at some point.
I believe every teenage girl of all time has been on both sides of the equation, at some point.
And let me tell you- neither side is fun.

So this is for us. To realize that we are not made to be compared by physical beauty but by the content of our hearts. To understand that we were created beautiful, in the image of our God, who is with us all the way. Who can carry us through those hard days when we feel unloved, unwanted, and useless. Who always can make a way to use us for His glory if we only take opportunity to do so. To leave the boys who do not appreciate our worth. To search for the man who will love us for who we truly are - gentle, chaste, humble women of God, and love us deeply for that. Who will not wait to be chased after but will go through every measure of chivalry to prove to us that we mean something. Who will not only proclaim their love in word but in action. Who stand by us through every mistake. Who find us most beautiful in natural simplicity, the only adornments found in our inner character. Who fall in love with our soul and not our bodies. Who cherish every simple point of ourselves and never cease to remind us.

I have struggles. You and I both, we struggle with this. We fight to be beautiful, fight to be accepted and loved and popular.
We can use this same energy to perfect our inner selves. Rather than try to redesign our faces and our wardrobes, let's redesign our characters. Practice patience, kindness, love, selflessness, joy.

I know my attitude on beauty needs a lot of work, and it's about time I start making some changes.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

"A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks."

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