Sunday, February 5, 2012


i am not a young person.
young people don't have mental breakdowns over the apathetic nature of other young people and they usually have somewhere to be on friday night like i guess
they like the movies or just hanging out in a random parking lot somewhere
but they don't sit up reading cleopatra
or become so emotionally attached to friday night lights to the extent
that they are swelling up in tears every time julie rejects matt over the phone because he left her alone to pursue a life in chicago
(i'm almost done with the last season and i'm pretty sure i will need a therapist when that happens)
i would love to go back to hugging my best friend for no reason while we wait in line at subway 
and squealing as we check off the names in MASH and find out who we will marry one day
and taking 30 pictures in a row with every facial expression we can think of

but even worse than not being a young person is not being an adult either
being in this in-between where i don't really belong in either category
floating somewhere between the people i've left and the people who seem to have left me
and wishing that life could push me farther forward to catch up

this place i'm in, it feels very useless. very vague and foggy so that i can't even see the ground i'm standing on sometimes
i am so impatient but i would be completely happy being an in-betweener if there was anyone to stand with me and complain about it too. i feel that i am an annoyance to both groups because my puzzle piece just doesn't quite fit

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