i'm trying to use this word less frequently but i believe it is appropriate in this instance:
i hate the societal view of dating.
i don't like when girls feel like they have to mold themselves into what they believe the guy wants to see and hear. they'll do anything in their power to be his girl, and they will change everything about themselves to please him. girls are beautiful and unique and so wonderful when they are completely themselves, and no one else. being true to their own hearts should be what attracts a guy, and not their malleability. their mystery and the challenge of winning their heart should cause the guy to fight to be respectable, chivalrous, and kind.
being attracted to a guy is not enough to base a relationship upon.
if he is rude to you before you ever go on a date with him, don't lie to yourself and say he'll change.
i hate how the guys who are after every girl on the planet, completely rude and untrustworthy... their egos are constantly boosted by girls who allow themselves to be sucked into their trap. because she wants to change him. she thinks when he's with her, things will be different.
he will seem different when he's around you, because HE'S AROUND YOU.
that doesn't mean he's a different or better person. it means he's putting up a front. watch what happens when you two don't work out... see if he really changed. he'll go right back to mister jerk pants.
and contrary to what you believe right now, i'm not even singling out one particular instance here. there are tons i know of. including myself.
i'm sick to my stomach when i think of heartache that can be caused by girls that want to reach out to a guy who needs some guidance. he just needs someone to point him in the right direction, once he gives up drugs and alcohol and partying and lying and cursing you're thinking he'll be a wonderful boyfriend.
don't date someone because you feel like you need to take care of them.
girls should feel taken care of in a relationship. not like a mother figure who needs to help this guy let go of all the horrible things that are polluting his life.
i think trying to help people is awesome. but you don't have to be his girlfriend to do that. you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
my stomach aches and aches and aches.
maybe i can just skip the whole dating thing. one day a man will walk up to me, sing me a song with his pretty guitar and quote scripture and i'll just say yes and we'll get married. happily ever after.
girls, please help me. make the guy fight for you. don't give yourself over so easily until you know he knows your value. you're worth more than you believe.
I have two things to say about this.
ReplyDeleteOne. People don't change. Not immediately, anyway. If someone does it now, they'll be doing it in the future, or at least thinking about doing it.
Two. Girls always seem to buy in to the stereotype that almost all guys are jerks. I take offense to that. I am a jerk sometimes. But I make up for it, doncha know.
You gotta look past that kind of stuff, because as pessimistic as it sounds, there is no perfection out there. But there is someone close enough.
I don't think nice guys are the minority. They don't get enough credit. Sometimes it's like they're invisible. I don't like that, either.
ReplyDeleteI think you're pretty awesome, Ethan Downey.