dear freakishly bipolar and annoying body,

i would love to be able to work out really hard. just once. without random shooting pains that remind me that you hate me. i mean pains that are associated with the exercise i understand, like after running two miles maybe my legs would hurt or i would be out of breath but nooooo. that's not what you do. normal people don't double over in pain after exercise. exercise is GOOD FOR ME. just no more random and freakishly intense pains. i would really really like that.

sincerely,
the soul inside you that has no control over you whatsoever obviously

(this rant directed at my own body is a testament that yes, i am definitely going crazy)