real conversation

i love frank sinatra and big parties and snuggling in my chair with gone with the wind and my reindeer blanket and scarves and togetherness and painting

i wish all year i could wear snuggly clothes and drink a ridiculous amount of coffee and have long mom talks. i like long nights because nights are when i'm most myself and when i feel like i can have control. i can paint or read or watch friday night lights on netflix or just have a real conversation. i feel like life would be so much more fulfilling and everyone would just feel better if they had a real conversation at least once a day, the kind where you ask questions you really don't have the answer to and you meditate on the how and why more than the who and where. sometimes i feel like those are the only ones that really count, the challenging and provoking and sometimes uncomfortable conversations that stay deep in your mind even after it's over, leaves you itching with even more questions than you started with and makes you wonder if you've really had it all wrong all along. no sugar coats or "well let's change the subject"... sometimes i think we hold ourselves back by changing subjects. pet peeve of mine.

random tangent, i forget how many things just get stored up inside my mind until i start typing. moral of the story: have a real conversation with someone today. i hope it either warms your heart or keeps you lying awake for hours tonight, either way it just feels like living